What's orange and sounds like a parrot? - A carrot.

 

A woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman for a "double entendre" - so he gave her one!

 

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

 

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

 

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

 

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."

 

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

 

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

 

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.